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Lung Cancer Takes Another Victim, My Step Dad Ray B

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Lung Cancer Victim:

Someone in Your Family


Lovenox Shot Video
This is not the news you want to ever wake up to. Yet yesterday I get a Text Message from my brother Jed. I knew it had to be something bad because he has acted more like an enemy than a brother for pretty much his entire life. Our mom said it was because he was younger and very jealous of me. Which I find strange, because I have given up large portions of my life to help my family members, including him. But sibling rivalry, what are you gonna do? Lung cancer diagnoses can add pressure to families.

So I get this message from him, and it is stern and point blank. “Did you get my message”? Hey, I had a quick and easy answer for that. “NO!” So, he asks even more persistently…”Who are you? Is this Don my brother?” well, he wasn’t that nice about it, but it was similar. But by this time I was getting worried.

I answer, “The one and only”. (Yes I was being a Smart Alec)

Then he darts back at me, “I got a call this morning from my sister, and Ray passed away this morning”. He just blurts it out, doesn’t even tell me to sit down. He knows this will have a great affect on me. If breaking up by text is considered in poor taste, telling someone a family member has just died has to be 10 times worse! This is not the way to do it, no matter what. It is selfish and inconsiderate. I am sure I will remember it for it’s harshness, and in a way a certain underlying meanness. Is there any worse powerfully negative a person can say to another? with no preparation, just BLAM! I have to consider the intention.

This was very shocking news, as I had talked to Ray (That’s what I have always called him) in the past month or two. True, I was supposed to call back if we made it through the Mayan Apocalypse! But, really we had such a good time chatting as we always did, that I guess I was putting off when I would call back. So I was really thinking about calling Ray the past 2 days pretty strongly. And now, our last conversation, whatever it would have been about will certainly haunt me for years to come.

Ray’s Leukemia

You see Ray had been on a very special program to eradicate his leukemia that involved using his DNA, and it worked very well. It was being administered by a fantastic Cancer Research Hospital in Houston TX called MD Anderson. I highly recommend it.

It was also shocking to hear from “Dear old Jed” because the last time I talked to him was just after our mother, Jonell had passed away from small cell lung cancer. She was a good mom. I was asked by Jed to move to Austin from west Texas to help out with mom’s cancer care. I did that in a heartbeat. Yet, when I got here, I was reprimanded and scolded for every conceivable thing including not being able to answer to him at a moments notice to do things that pop up. I did have a job and had to work, and times were tough for me not him. He did little to help that and when he did, like allow me to sell his old washer and dryer that he just wanted removed, he made me look like I demanded payment.My brother finds any way to embarrass me, or make me look bad especially in front of family members. But we have lost many family members, and there are only a few left.

Lovenox Video

I put the video of me giving the Lovenox shot to my mom less than 2 months before she passed away. She loved how I gave the shot, and Jed could not do it at all. He was always erring on the pushy side of anything. That is whether it would be a discussion, argument, or doing something physical. So when he tried to give the shot to mom, he would be typically impatient and rough, so she didn’t want him doing it. So that created a problem, because there was only me to do the shots. And of course, I am that low down sorry brother and son that is simply not good enough in his eyes, and since he has a high paying job at a big Hi Tech company he can lord everything over me. as he does do with most people, but of course, I do not accept that, and so we are at odds, even in this situation with his dad and my step dad.

Cancer Doesn’t Always Bring Families Together

So anyone out there that may be reading this. Realize that people are the same people before and after a deadly illness. Often times tragedies do not help families get back to where they should be. Childhood animosities and rivalries often just carry on. In our case it was the mom that put people in their place when they were out of line. Jed has been out of line for years, but if she were here she would put him back in line at least to an acceptable level.

Back to Ray

Now Ray was a pretty tough individual. He lifted weights most of his life, and he also did “Party Hearty”. He smoked cigarettes so fast that the average temperature of the smoke had to be much higher for him than almost anyone. He also smoked several packs of cigarettes a day, and in his words “Could not give a rats ass if they killed him or not”.

Ray and I had many things in common. One was that we both liked to talk a lot. Another was that we both loved to be philosophical and analyze things. We both loved music and jammed frequently. We liked shooting guns, fast cars and playing chess. I was about 13 when I met him. That is about when he married my mom, and a few months later Jed popped out. Let us just say he was a brother like no other. But, I will get to that in the next part of this story. Click here for Part 2 of Lung Cancer Takes another Victim

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